Writer's Block, Be Damned Thou!

For someone aspiring to work in a newspaper, writer’s block is an evil sickness. It is physical as well as mental. It cripples your fingers and blights your mind. It throws you overboard from a speeding ship, leaving you to wonder where the hell you are in an ocean of words. Your tongue grows numb and sentences no longer flow as easily as they used to. However, one important thing I have observed about it is this: the writer’s block only overcomes you in such awesome proportions when you have spent weeks together writing incessantly about all kinds of this. Your words, then, literally are spent, exhausted, and there’s no way to bring them back if you can’t tear down the wall. Tear down the wall? Tear down the wall! Preposterous! My tools have been stolen from me, and they’re stowed away behind a wall I’m supposed to tear down with those tools. It’s Biggleman’s safe all over again. Of all the things I imagined could spell doom to a writer, I never thought it would be a mental block. I imagined paralysis, gangrene, amputations, leprosy, and what else not, but not the writer’s block. At least, with the other illnesses, you could feed off public sympathy and have them do something for you. But with writer’s block, it’s a dead end. You can’t go up to a person and ask him to write articles for you! You have nothing to give when all you want to do is take. You feel like screaming, but all that comes out is a muted rage. It’s like you’re watching ‘LoTR’ for the first time, and just when the Witch King of Angmar is about to kill Gandalf on Minas Tirith, the power gets cut. It’s heart breaking.

I was on a roll, I tell you. I had uncovered this wonderful new article on time as a physical quantity, and somehow managed to worm my way to the idea of God as a teleological consequence – it turns me on, I tell you! – when the words snap. Yesterday, I had such a hard time trying to differentiate between form-following-function and function-following-form, I lost my appetite. My god, it is demeaning. Demeaning? Where did that come from? Oh yes, demeaning! It’s like some god gave you eyes and then blindfolded them. It’s degrading to be subjected to such torture. You not only question your very presence, but also that of your purpose. It’s like being gifted the Thrust 2 and then having your limbs cut off. It’s like being handed a million cartons of cigarettes but not a lighter. It’s like, in short, being handed a paradox. How do you use a paradox? Its effect negates the cause, which in turn negates the effect itself; the effect is a contradiction of itself! Oh, this is killing me. That’s another thing the writer’s block is: a labyrinth. If you’ve got in, then there’s only one way and you have no idea where that is unless you are prepared to look. And I am looking! There are no markings, no sign posts, I don’t even have a wand like Hari Puttar, no Mad Eyes to guide me, and the worst part is, some of the walls are disjointed. If you place your palm on the face of a wall and begin to walk without ever detaching from the surface, you have a good chance of ending up going round and round in circles.

Science has to catch up soon, I tell you. Just concoct some pill for it. Taken with a glass of hot water, it should induce a severe case of verbosity. Watching ‘Big Bang Theory’ and reading about the LHC, I’m surprised scientists can do so much more but not this. They can tear apart the smallest of the small things, they can put together the biggest of machines to do that, but not a pill to cure sick me. Cocktails for cancer, DNA combinatorics for AIDS, nothing for the writer’s block. Yes, I am being unreasonable! I am allowed to be unreasonable! Where are my words?! Do I lodge a complaint with the police? Because that’s all I can think of!

Stupid muted rage.   

Freesoul

You should know the world is a big bad and dirty little place to be, although people keep saying it’s the good earth – that’s only because they’ve got nowhere else to go. This world is full of people like you and me, and that’s important to know. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be home by the fireplace, a cup of hot chocolate in you hand, and watching ‘Lion King’ – some quality time with yourself. There’s somethings in life you’ll always feel good doing, and one of them’s being home and in the company of those you love. That’s what’s gonna make you feel comfortable and not have too many issues with the world. If you’re YOU all the time, then there’s nothing in this world to be worried about. It’s only when you start living the lives of others do you feel alone, but that’s some place wherein you don’t belong.

There are so many things in this world. Wow, so many things indeed! 7,000,000,000 personalities and 7,000,000,000 perceptions. Do you think each one of them sees the world a different way? I think so. There’s so much more to this world than the politics, the economics, the wars, the diplomacies, the logistics, the transportation, the sciences, the religions, the philosophies, so much more. First of all, there’s the beauty. Now, there’s two kinds of beauty. The one that we see straight away. This kind of beauty is everywhere, form the poems we write to the stories we read to the people we meet. The other beauty is not so naked. You see, there are only a few people who know where that beauty lies, and I count myself one of the blessed. That beauty lies hidden away in the folds of the seconds of time. You’ll have to stop whatever you’re doing, and wait for a moment for that rush to subside. And then, you’ll see the world as it is. You’ll see it’s very purpose unclothed, and you’ll feel so humble. It’s a mighty universe out there, and when it’s done so much with the suns and the stars, do you think it’s gonna leave the earth alone? Do you think it’s gonna leave you alone?

You’ll see the people around you a different way.

Some of these people are those who wanna stick to a routine. These are the ones afraid of boredom. When they have nothing to do, they don’t know what to do at all. It’s because these are the people who have spent most of their lives taking orders from others. These people are scared of facing the truth as you and I see it. They’re afraid of themselves.

And there are the people who fake their personalities. They do it not because they’re afraid of themselves. In fact, these some of the people who know who they really are, but are unhappy about it. They wanna change who they are, and they take up different personalities. But that’s where these people fail, and that’s where I pity them. One of them just picks up a personality he sees on the street and sheds his own. What he doesn’t realise is that he’s now leading the life of the other person: he’s giving that person a second chance to live his life. What I’m confused about is whether these fake people wanna live their lives even once at all.

And there are the I-am-who-I-am people. They’re really nice, but so rare, to come by. They know who they are, and they embrace the fact without any regrets. These are the people who will inherit the earth, not the meek, not the humble, not the anyone-else. These are the people who will want to and continue to belong. These are the people worth meeting people for. But since they’re so damn hard these days to come by, I’d rather sit home and watch ‘Lion King’.

You’ll see the nature around you a different way.

You think the tree in the distance sways because it’s windy? Why shouldn’t it be possible at all that it’s trying to say something to you, to me, or to some other tree? Just because you can’t reason it out scientifically doesn’t mean it can’t happen. When we say our knowledge of the universe is limited, we mustn’t just say it. We must believe in it and apply it. I believe that the tree is trying to say something to me. (Why ME is a long and different story!) And when I see a tree swaying, I think. And that’s who I am and I’m not afraid of it. George Bernard Shaw once said “you all see things as they are and ask why; I dream of things that are not and ask why not”. Isn’t that a nice way of putting it? Acceptance seems to be so hard in this world. But I’m not complaining: there’re enough quacks out there to ruin the whole thing, and I know people are just being careful. Like I said, I’m not complaining, I’m just worried and sympathising.

When you stop for a second like that and think of things as they are and not what you’ve made them to be, it’ll all dawn on you. What you need to do next, who you actually are, and what you’re purpose in life actually is. There’s little more to living than enjoying the beauty and being a part of it. What some of these people around me do is too surreal. But hey, what would you rather be, painfully aware or blissfully ignorant? 🙂

What it all calls for is a release from the body we occupy, for in all that we happens around us, the mind is at work and the body only makes the difference. If we shed our bodies, we’d all be peaceful and carefree souls floating through the timeless universe. There would be no keyboards, mouses, chairs tables, rooms, doors, windows, corridors, buildings, walls, fences, prisons, schools, roads, streets, cars, planes, hotels, brothels, guns, tanks, jets, bombs, bullets, wars, battles, bloodshed, boundaries, no reason to be unhappy. There would be little smiles floating in the air. So that’s what I thought. Just because I can’t shed my body doesn’t mean I can’t imagine it, does it? And so, I did it. I shed my body. I only think because I have to. That’s a wonderful way of living you know, without having to be worried about the next moment, only concerned about the present. In fact, think of this: the present really doesn’t exist. The history does because it’s the only innate knowledge we possess, and the future does because it’s the only unknown that we prophecise about. In the fleeting moment that the future consumes us, we fall into its trap and let it become history. What if the present had been forever? What if you could do anything you wanted to, without having to worry about the consequence? When there’s no history, there’s no consequence.

Have you seen the flaw yet? The only flaw is that we’ve all already been created. And since we’re created, it only means there is a history, and since we’ve all jumped in suddenly from nowhere into the universe, there will also be a future. But again, that is all there is to it. The solution to everything in this world is being happy with yourself. And to be happy with yourself, you need to see the beauty around you: that, as far as I can see, is the only redemption this earth has to offer. Think not of those around you, and for a small moment in there, think not of your closes ones. See where you really lie. Forget science, forget religion, forget God. Just you, alone in a wide universe, but not so alone when you think you’re one of a kind, because you are. There’s nothing that can stop you from being happy.

Tell me now, what can? 🙂

The World Is Dead

The mornings, like any natural phenomena, are promising. They beckon me unto living the new day, to giving myself one more chance to redeem my infinite yesterday, and also to give myself hope as to the dawning of a newer tomorrow. The daylight streams through the cotton curtains, and the warmth of the new sun can be felt on my feet. I wake up. After freshening up, I sit down with some coffee and a newspaper – you know, the usual. That’s when things change. The newspaper doesn’t contain even one piece of good information. Terrorist attacks: Page 1; Political schisms: Page 2;  Viral outbreaks: Page 3; Economic recession: Page 4. The paper can’t be blamed, we must be. No pieces of good news on the news channels on the TV either. Is the world dead? Have we reached a point wherein we have become incapable of sustaining ourselves just by our history, but need the blood of our brothers and sisters to keep breathing? As history caught up with us? Perhaps this is the beginning of the nihilism of Nietzche. Perhaps this is how societies will fall in the face of a chain of crises. As mankind recedes into itself looking for better answers to the questions of one’s identity, the society around them crumbles for loss of a representation that keeps it in place. Philosophers sit in their chairs satisfied with questioning all their lives, for even if they were to be answered, they would question the answers themselves again. Think about it. How long has it been since you saw something good splashed over the first page of your newspaper? Except for sporting events, no socio-political scenario has been the cause to effect such emotions.

I don’t know what brought us here. I don’t know if the solution lies in rectifying the actions of the state or those of the society, if rectifying it is at all. The role of the state has grown in the recent years and its increasing involvement in the activities and functions of the state can’t be disputed. What with globalisation, and the concept of  ‘One World’ and oligarchic governance, more and more people are influenced by the decisions made by one single government anywhere on the atlas. If  a banking giant’s big boss spirals into madness, the stock market wobbles in the USA, almost collapses in Asia, people lose their jobs, spending patterns change in a micro-economic window, and the people of that section of the society see themselves looking at an altered future. These aspects of business are inevitable, I know, but ever since the dawn of 2000, countries have become answerable to a greater number of people, citizen, non-residentials, and people ‘investing in the future of the country’. I don’t know what that means, and I don’t want to. What I am saying is, in trying to develop the conditions in which we live in, we must not come to neglect our moral obligations and the duties that we are endowed with from birth. If I am to stand answerable for my actions and someone else’s as well, I will agree only to stand answerable for my actions. The self must come before anything, but only in a way that does not restrict goodwill. If there is anything that can be done by someone, then that someone must do it; not you or me. It is a perfectly binary world: either yes or no. The influx of probability and chance is what changes things and makes people indecisive as to the conclusion of the happenings around them. It makes life more predictable in those areas in which you should know what is going to happen. And that is always good; there are a lot of other aspects of the living that remain unpredictable, and those are the ones that should be so. 

We have commoditised our lives to such an extent that our priorities are blurred. We give undue importance to some things that will happen anyway, and in getting to hide behind the excuse of partaking in the happening of such events, we slowly ignore the truth that is our future. It is never too late, but I don’t think I need to say that: everyone knows it’s out there. They just need to know that it is true.